Wow, I am speechless. God has revealed, and I have witnessed. Goosebumps shiver down my spine, I am not in the state of making sense of things, just wanting to drop all I have and cry. I have hidden away my hurts and lost battles, and hedged them with logic, reasoning, and safety. I need to address those dramatic losses, those insecure moments, and draw close to God's presence in his healing. I have lived in this bubble of safety, squaring away at the last constructed battle that I have made up and defeat, only to sigh in my own designed construction of mediocrity and safe insecurity. I must run from these, and begin to fall in love with the passions that awoke my heart. My sole lover, the very lover of my soul Jesus Christ, I will pray to you this:
"Oh merciful God, come to me in this place, this very place in my heart. I give this to you. I choose you over Eve. I choose your love and friendship and beauty. I give my aching and longing and vulnerable heart to you. Come, and heal me here. Sanctify me. Make me whole and holy in this very place."
The mystery of love is filled with passion, zealous pursuance, breadth, consuming ferocity, an untapped source of lift an renewal of the heart, mind, and soul.
I ask in fullness of your love God, to pursue these things knowing that these things are good, and right for a man.
As I leave this computer, I know I am redeemed for eternity.
Let me leave full of seal for you and romance in good things,
Amen.
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